Family mediators are facilitators and will support you in having difficult conversations. A family mediator will help you stay focused on the topics you have chosen to discuss during sessions, ensure that conversations are balanced, and challenge unhelpful or abusive behaviour.

Family mediators can also provide valuable information on various matters related to divorce or separation, such as the law concerning children, divorce, and finances, legal processes, child development, co-parenting, communication and research about children and divorce. However, family mediators are not permitted to give advice as it would compromise their impartiality. If advice or additional support is needed, your family mediator will be able to direct you to other services.

Yes. Proposals reached in mediation can be made legally binding through various methods. The most common approach is to have mediation outcomes converted into a consent order, which is then submitted to the court to be ratified. Mediation outcomes can also be turned into private agreements via your solicitors. Additionally, Parenting Plans can be signed as a way to confirm your commitment to abide by the agreements made, effectively creating a private agreement between you.

Your mediator will assist you in understanding the available options based on the specific details of your case.

At your first meeting with a mediator, known as the Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM), you will meet with the mediator separately. During this meeting, the best approach for the mediation process will be determined.

Once mediation is underway, the most common model is for both parties to meet together with the mediator in the same room, either by video meeting or in-person. This approach allows for more meaningful dialogue, reducing conflict and promoting a better future relationship as co-parents, where applicable. This model is also faster and therefore more cost-effective, as discussions flow more smoothly.

However, if meeting in the same room is too uncomfortable or not possible, there are alternative mediation models that can be considered. For example, mediation can be conducted with you each in a separate room, with the mediator moving between the rooms. This model is known as shuttle mediation and is usually only available via video call.

The mediation process is flexible, and there are also other options to consider depending on the specifics of your case. These include involving other professions in mediation meetings, for example solicitors, financial/pension advisors, domestic abuse support workers or other relevant professions. If you or your mediator believe that this would be helpful, it can be discussed and agreed upon between us.

This is a difficult question to answer, as it depends on a great number of factors, including how many issues there are to deal with, how able you are to communicate constructively, how willing you are to look for solutions that are mutually beneficial, and how organised you are in terms of bringing the right things to sessions.

As a general guide, we estimate 1-2 sessions for mediations about children only, 3+ sessions for child-inclusive mediation, 3-4 sessions for mediations about property/finance only, and 5+ sessions for mediations dealing with children and property/finance issues.

Sessions can be close together or spaced out, depending on circumstances and preferences. For example, if you are discussing matters related to children, it is usually appropriate to have sessions reasonably close together to maintain the momentum of the process. However, when mediating regarding financial matters, it is sometimes necessary to have breaks of several weeks to allow you time to gather necessary information/documents.

Full financial disclosure describes the process of both parties openly showing each other information about all their assets, debts, liabilities, income and expenses.

Whatever process you choose (mediation/ solicitor negotiation/ court) full financial disclosure is compulsory before meaningful negotiations can take place. This includes all assets, debts/liabilities and incomes world-wide, whether or not you believe that they should be considered part of the matrimonial assets. The rationale of the court for this is that you can’t fairly decide how to divide what is in the pot until you know what is in the pot!

The process requires each person to fill in a separate form (Form E or the mediation equivalent) and produce supporting documents to the other party to evidence the various bank balances, valuations, debts, incomes, etc. The information from both parties is then written up into an Open Summary of Financial Information (OFSI) by the mediator.

When we say something is legally privileged, it means that you cannot use it as evidence in court unless all involved parties give their permission.

In mediation, with a few exceptions, everything is legally privileged. This is crucial because it allows you to freely discuss and explore ideas during mediation without the fear that your statements could be used against you in court if an agreement cannot be reached.

When agreements are reached in mediation they can be easily converted into legally binding form, typically with the assistance of a solicitor.

Yes, we are careful to ensure that clients have a clear understanding of what can and cannot be kept confidential in mediation. The two main exceptions are:

• Where we are legally bound to disclose information: which includes in situations where there is risk of serious harm to any person, particularly a child, and in instances where we are made aware of a previously undisclosed unlawful act or criminal offence.
• For the purpose of quality assurance & dealing with complaints: which includes the strictly confidential monitoring of mediation files by our Professional Practice Consultants, and the sharing of any relevant file to facilitate the investigation of a complaint.

Prior to attending your Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM), you will receive a full summary of the exceptions to confidentiality, which you will be asked to sign.

At the beginning of the MIAM you will have the opportunity to discuss anything you are unsure about with your mediator.

Mediators produce a number of different types of documents, depending on the information that needs to be recorded and the intended purpose of the document. The most common ones are:

• Open Summary of Financial Information (OSFI): This document summarises the full financial disclosure of both parties. It includes factual background information, details about assets, debts, liabilities, incomes and current expenditures. If you are applying for a consent order, you will need to submit a high level summary of this document to the court (Form D81) with your application to assist the judge in considering your proposals. Since this document is based on factual evidence, it is not legally privileged. Therefore, it can also be used as a basis for negotiations outside of mediation or in court proceedings if mediation is not successful.
• Summary of Proposals / Memorandum of Understanding: This document is produced at the end of mediation and outlines your proposals regarding your children and/or finances. Its purpose is to to assist you in implementing your proposals, including to provide all the information your solicitor needs to draft a consent order or separation agreement where needed. The proposals in the Summary are confidential and legally privileged, so they are not legally binding until you convert them into a legal document. It is always advisable to seek independent legal advice before making any proposal legally binding.
• Parenting Plan: A parenting plan is a document written as if from your joint perspective, but is often drafted by the mediator. It outlines any agreements you have reached regarding arrangements for your children. It is not considered a legally privileged document and could be seen by the court if either party breaks the agreements.
• Statement of Outcome: This document provides a concise record of the outcomes of mediation, but is shorter than a full Summary of Proposals / Memorandum of Understanding. It is typically used to document children’s arrangements when a Parenting Plan is not desired or necessary. However, it can also be used to record financial or interim outcomes when appropriate. It is a confidential and legally privileged document.

Although you have to attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) before applying to court, joint family mediation sessions are not mandatory. It is the purpose of the MIAM to help you and your mediator think through your needs and options and decide whether mediation is suitable.

The process of assessing suitability always starts with a dialogue between us. However, below we give some ideas about the possible reasons mediation may or may not be suitable. Mediation is likely to be suitable when you are both:

• motivated to resolve your issues,
• prepared to listen to one another,
• want to be fair with one another,
• are able to keep the best interests of the children in mind,
• are able to negotiate.

Mediation could be deemed unsuitable, or would certainly be more difficult, where any of the following are present:

• legal considerations, (for example, where there is an urgent need to apply to court to prevent a child from being abducted or in cases of disputes over secure tenancies where there is no hope of agreement because an agreement would render one party intentionally homeless)
• poor mental or physical health,
• significant emotional imbalance, (for example, where one party has moved on while the other is in a state of significant distress at the end of the relationship)
• domestic violence that has left one party in fear of the other, or
• when one or both parties will not provide full financial disclosure in a financial case.

It is important to find a family mediator who is appropriately trained and experienced. However, in our experience, it is equally important for you both to have a good connection with your mediator, so that you can feel a sense of both professional confidence and personal trust. For this reason, we generally encourage clients to shop around for their mediator.

The following lists those attributes we believe are of vital importance when you are considering who you want to work with:

• Accredited by the Family Mediation Council (FMC): Only FMC-accredited mediators can sign court forms. These mediators have gone through a casework-based accreditation process that demonstrates their understanding of the theories, principles, and skills of mediation. It also confirms that they have been trained by an organisation recognised by the FMC, maintain membership with one of the FMC membership organisations, keep up to date through continuous professional development, and have insurance.
• Knowledgeable about all aspects of divorce/separation: Part of the family mediator’s role is to provide information to enable parties to make informed decisions. This includes information about relevant law and legal process, alternative options for dispute resolution, children (their development, and their responses to conflict and family breakdown), communication, co-parenting, domestic abuse, etc.
• Skilled in conflict resolution: Mediators must have the necessary skills and knowledge to effectively deal with conflict and difficult emotional situations that may arise in mediation.
• Compassionate, patient, hopeful, and kind: When experiencing relationship breakdown and/or dealing with conflict related to significant aspects of our lives, most people go through an emotional rollercoaster, experiencing a wide range of emotions. Competent mediators understand this and strive to practice with compassion, patience, hope, and kindness.

Family mediation is generally charged at an hourly rate, so the cost depends on how many hours of mediation you have and what outcome documents you require.

The Family Mediation Council, which is the national umbrella organisation for all family mediators in the UK, estimates the cost at £130 – £170 per person per hour.

Our current fee is £140 per person per hour. Our full rates, as well as estimates for overall costs, can be found here.

Privately paying clients are each responsible for paying their own fees, unless agreed otherwise.

Where applicable, the Ministry of Justice Mediation Voucher can contribute up to £500 towards joint mediation fees for mediation regarding children.

Where clients are eligible for Legal Aid, the Legal Aid Agency (LAA) pays for all mediation fees for eligible clients. To encourage people to mediate, where only one person is eligible and the other is not, the LAA also funds the non-eligible persons Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) and first joint meeting.

This is a tricky question to answer, because it really depends on the complexity of the issues and the level of conflict involved. However, on average, child matters take 2 sessions, or 3 sessions if this includes a meeting with the child or children. Financial matters tend to take 3 to 4 sessions, and mediation which involves elements of both finance and children are more likely to take 4 to 5 sessions.

No. What people refer to as the “MIAM certificate” is not actually a certificate at all. It refers to the page in a court application where a mediator signs to confirm that the client has either attended mediation or attended a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) to get information about mediation and other options for alternative dispute resolution.

Our flat fee for the MIAM includes the meeting, the work we do communicating with the other client, and signing any court forms needed.

No. We do not charge extra for signing forms, for speaking with you on the telephone or for communicating with the other client to see if they are willing to mediate.

All our charges are clearly laid out on our website and in our fees and terms document, which is emailed to all new clients.

The Family Mediation Voucher Scheme is a scheme that was set up by the Ministry of Justice to encourage people to try mediation, rather than going to court.

It is currently only available to couples who are mediating about arrangements for children.

The voucher provides £500 of funding per family that can be used towards joint mediation session fees.

The mediation voucher is not means tested. Everyone is eligible as long as the dispute relates to arrangements for children. However, only one application is allowed per family.

Only one claim is allowed per family / case, for a one-off contribution of up to £500 towards your mediation costs. The £500 is shared equally between you.

No. The rules of the scheme are that we can only apply for the mediation voucher once both parties have attended a MIAM meeting, and that it can only be used to pay for joint mediation sessions. Clients must cover the cost of the MIAM and any outcome documentation themselves.

It is hard to quantify the cost of going to court, because there are so many variables. These include, whether you use a solicitor or represent yourself, how much your solicitor charges per hour, how complex the case is, whether there are delays e.g. because documentation isn’t ready on time, someone fails to attend, etc.

However, as a guide, information from Money Helper estimates the cost of court proceedings that include solicitors and/or barristers at £10,000 – £15,000 per person per application for simple matters, or £25,000 – £30,000 for person per application for contested hearings.

Therefore, if you needed help from the court to make decisions about both children and finances, you would need to pay these fees twice to account for two separate applications on two different legal matters.

It is also worth mentioning the emotional costs of going to court, both to the individual and to the relationship between you. Because court processes are challenging and adversarial by nature, they tend to intensify feelings of hostility, upset, anxiety, and vulnerability. This can be extremely draining for people individually, and can have a serious knock on effect on co-parenting relationships long after court has finished.